By Sophia Yin, DVM, MS       Nov 2009

Question: HELP!!! I have 2 dogs, an 8 year old purebred black lab, and a 5 year old lab mix named Bernie. We also have 2 lovely boys ages 5 and 3. Recently Bernie has demonstrated aggression toward our 3 year old, granted the actions are always ALWAYS after our 3 year old has been rolling on him, but I’m not sure what to do. Bernie is a good dog, but I’m finding myself unsure if he should stay in our house… Our 8 year old lab is the most mild mannered dog I’ve ever seen (when it comes to the boys). They roll all over him, and he’s never acted displeased. My question, is Bernie now more likely to bite as a reaction because he’s already done it? The thought of not having him here is very sad, but my children’s best interest and safety is more important. Just trying to make an informed decision… Can Bernie be taught not to react by biting, and can a 3 year old be taught not to “love” up a dog so much it hurts them?? HELP!!!

Noelle from NY

Answer: Noelle, the answer is yes and no. For instance imagine this. If your 5 year old boy frequently played by sitting on your 3 year old and the 3 year old used to just yell or cry but over the last week has started hitting back will the 3 year old now hit regularly? The answer is, that as long as you let the 5 year old harass him instead of playing appropriately, then yes, because the cause of the problem has not stopped.

While many people think that the job of the dog is to put up with everything the children throw at them, dogs are not saints or stuffed animals. They are family pets. If it were two kids playing together, it would be clearer. If one child doesn’t like how roughly the other is playing we don’t force them to tolerate it. When kids are playing it should be fun. Similarly, when humans are playing with pets, the goal is that it’s fun for both, not just for the human.

Another issue is that although some dogs may tolerate this rough play it’s important to teach the kids to interact appropriately with pets. If they don’t learn now, then even if you do rehome Bernie, if they treat other dogs this way, they are likely to get bitten. In fact there’s a reason why young boys comprise the largest category of dog bite victims. As a group, they tend to ignore the body posture and warning signs dogs give that indicate they want some personal space, consequently dogs are forced to snap or bite to defend themselves.

So, in general, my recommendation is that Bernie has a place that is off limits to the kids and the kids learn to treat him gentle and with respect. They should learn to read his expressions so that they know when he’s happy to interact with them vs when he “feeling sad, scared, or just tired.” You can also train Bernie to like the kids more by have them give him lots of rewards for sitting calmly and politely.

Realistically, you may need one-on-one help from a veterinarian with special focus in behavior (www.AVSABonline.org), a certified applied animal behaviorist (www.animalbehavior.org) or a CCPDT certified dog trainer (www.ccpdt.org) who has lots of experience dealing with this type of case, just to be on the safe side. In any case for Bernie to be happy in your house, instead of feeling harassed to the point where he has to express it by snapping or growling, you’ll have to spend a lot of energy training the kids.

For more information on dogs and kids read

and “Living with Kids and Dogs—Parenting Secrets for a Safe and Happy Home”

Sophia Yin, DVM, MS    June 20, 2009

The Center for Disease Control estimates that 4.7 million Americans are bitten by dogs every year. Nearly 20% of those bitten seek medical attention and approximately 1000 victims per day require a visit to the hospital emergency room. Of those bitten the most at risk are kids between 6-9 years of age. One way to prevent bites is for kids to learn how to greet and interact appropriately with dogs.

The underlying cause:

First off it’s important for kids and adults to realize that some dogs are afraid of or uncomfortable with unfamiliar people.  When we approach them we think we look pretty normal and friendly, but to some dogs we look like someone wearing a scary mask.

Then people tend to reach out so that the dog can sniff their hand, and now they look even more threatening. At this point some dogs may feel like they need to defend themselves by biting.

Other dogs may only be slightly fearful of humans but may be more introverted and less tolerant of impolite greetings. Kids know what types of greeting are impolite. For instance, most kids don’t like it when unfamiliar adults walk up to them and pat them on the head or pinch their cheeks. And they may feel comfortable shaking an unfamiliar adult’s hand but if that stranger then hugged them they might become very scared.

Three Tips for Greeting Unfamiliar Dogs

•    First ask the dog’s owner if you can pet their dog. Hopefully the owner will know whether their dog likes children and unfamiliar adults.

•    Next ask that dog. That is, look to see if the dog wants to be petted. Stand outside the dog’s personal space so you appear non-threatening. For small dogs, get down at their level but without staring or leaning towards them. Then talk in a happy voice while extending the back of your closed hand out just a little—not into their face— and see if they approach. If they look relaxed and approach you then you can pet them, first under the chin. If they look aloof, or show signs of anxiety such as yawning, panting when not hot, drooling when there’s not food, turning or moving away, placing their ears back or to the side, furrowing their brow, then they are anxious and should be admired only from a distance.

•    Even if the dog seems very friendly NEVER hug an unfamiliar dogs. While some dogs tolerate hugging, most do not like it and will even feel threatened. If people—both familiar or unfamiliar– harass them by hugging them against their will, they can learn to become more and more reactive when they suspect that people may try to hug them.

Photos are from Low Stress Handling, Restraint and Behavior Modification of Dogs and Cats: Techniques for Teaching Pets to Love their Vet Visits by Sophia Yin, DVM